This weekend, I had the great pleasure of speaking at a new peer-led support group in Toronto called Eggxtra Support along with my dear friend, Jan Silverman. There are a number of reasons I want to share this experience with you. The first is to get the word out - I have had a plethora of requests from clients who are looking for support groups for people using donor ova (donor eggs) to build their families. IVF is stressful on its own. Adding donor gametes to the equation adds many further levels to consider, both in terms of issues to work out, expenses, ethical considerations, legal issues, etc. I can't tell you how valuable I think it is for groups like this to exist and to provide a judgement-free and supportive space. The group does not yet have a website, but here is an email address for those interested: [email protected]. Hopefully this group will continue its excellent work, and other similar groups can form around the country or remotely.
The other reason I wanted to discuss this - although I always encourage my clients involved in third party reproduction to also work with some excellent counsellors, psychologists or social workers before moving forward with using donor gametes (donor eggs, donor sperm or donor embryos), I am usually outside of this part of the process. I want to express my gratitude for being included. Although I am blessed to frequently have very warm relationships with my clients, it is a different experience entirely to hear about people's fears, concerns, and feelings outside of the formal, legal relationship. While I hope that I taught the attendees something about the legal aspects of using donor eggs in Canada, they certainly reminded me exactly why it is that I do what I do. I was so touched by and impressed with the supportive environment they created for each other, how mindful of the interests of the child and the donor, and thoughtful they were about their decisions. Thank you for including me!
If you are thinking of attending, but are shy, I encourage you to do so. I think it will be well worth your time. If you are too far from Toronto to make it to the meeting, please write the email address above and see about how you can participate remotely.
The other reason I wanted to discuss this - although I always encourage my clients involved in third party reproduction to also work with some excellent counsellors, psychologists or social workers before moving forward with using donor gametes (donor eggs, donor sperm or donor embryos), I am usually outside of this part of the process. I want to express my gratitude for being included. Although I am blessed to frequently have very warm relationships with my clients, it is a different experience entirely to hear about people's fears, concerns, and feelings outside of the formal, legal relationship. While I hope that I taught the attendees something about the legal aspects of using donor eggs in Canada, they certainly reminded me exactly why it is that I do what I do. I was so touched by and impressed with the supportive environment they created for each other, how mindful of the interests of the child and the donor, and thoughtful they were about their decisions. Thank you for including me!
If you are thinking of attending, but are shy, I encourage you to do so. I think it will be well worth your time. If you are too far from Toronto to make it to the meeting, please write the email address above and see about how you can participate remotely.
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